To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Too often we take the easy way out, give up and “accept” things as they are because we don’t have enough confidence in ourselves to even try to change things. We know we are on this easy path when all we are concerned about are symptoms. Treating symptoms is a way of avoiding the real problem. Confronting the problem might require thinking outside the box, leaving our comfort zone, admitting change is possible.

Working on the real problem, and expecting to come up with a solution, takes courage. Courage is a foreign concept in our modern world. We think that courage only exists on a battlefield and is reserved for those who face life and death situations. In reality all of life is a battlefield, and many of the decisions we make  have far reaching life consequences. Courage isn’t a lack of fear, but rather a decision to act in spite of one’s fear.

As we seek and apply wisdom we will see change in our lives and the lives of others. Remember the story of a man who tried to change the world only to be frustrated in his endeavors, so he began to focus on changing his nation. Again he met with little success and decided to change his town. When that didn’t work he sought to change his family. Near the end of his life he realized that had he focused his efforts on changing himself, he would have had a positive influence on his family and together they could have changed their town. with the help of the town the nation could have been changed and the nation would have affected the world.

God has promised that if we lack wisdom and ask, He will give us the wisdom we need. With God’s help, a better ending of the serenity prayer might be … and the wisdom to make a difference.

Sometimes, the midst of the struggle feels like wrestling a gorilla! The thing about wrestling a gorilla is, you don’t quit when YOU are tired, you quit when the gorilla is. Don’t quit! The bigger the gorilla, the bigger the victory! Victory is just around the corner, stay in the struggle.

Communication is key to success. Without it there can be no interaction. Without interaction there is no leverage. Without leverage our success is limited to our own abilities. We can only walk or run so fast. We can only lift a limited weight. There is only so much we can accomplish. On the other hand, with communication we can leverage the cooperation of others to accomplish many times over what one alone can.

In earlier posts we talked about ways to attract people, but to what end? If we can’t communicate a reason for continued contact, all our attractiveness will have caused is a “passing in the night”. It takes more than attractiveness to build a relationship. There must be meaningful communication. As an example: after completing one’s education, it is generally expected that one put their education to use either in the form of a job or by starting an entrepreneurial business. Both require communication skills. We can’t get a job if we can’t convince someone to hire us. No one will come to our business if they don’t know it exists.

Communication involves all of the senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. The more senses we involve, the greater the communication. Have you ever tried to read lips? Without the sound, the motion we see is subject to misinterpretation. Touch without sight can lead to wrong conclusions as illustrated by the story of the four blind men examining an elephant. One perceived it as a tree, one as a wall, one as a snake, and one as a rope. Their perspectives were different and they came to different conclusions.

Different modes of communication have certain inherent deficiencies and strengths. Written communication can never truly depict emotion. Emotion is best shown through a combination of sight and sound. Sound alone can give a false sense of what is being said without the body language to confirm or deny the sound.

Over the next few posts, we will explore some of the aspects of communication that can make us better and increase our success.

1. First Important Lesson – Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

“What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark haired and in her 50′s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

“Absolutely,” said the professor, “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello.’”

I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

 2. Second Important Lesson – Pickup in the rain

One night, at 11:30PM, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict filled 1960′s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read:

“Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away … God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat King Cole”

3.  Third Important Lesson – Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

“How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked

“Fifty cents,”  replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

“Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

“Thirty-five cents” she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

“I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said.

The waitress brought  the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickles and five pennies …

You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4.  Fourth Important Lesson – The obstacles in our path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the the huge rock. Some of the King’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came ny and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5.  Fifth Important Lesson – Giving when it counts …

Many years ago when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5 year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked him if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color return to her cheeks.

Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “will I start to die right away?”

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor, he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Most importantly …

Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody’s watching!

In Pastor Steve’s own words:

We are excited about what God is going to do through GCIC and look forward to being used by Him.  We are seeking the prayers of all that read this, not that God be on our side, but that we be discerning of His will, obedient, and faithful.  Pray that we would be on His side and under His direction, making a difference in our world and His Kingdom.  There are many that have given up on Genesee County, but God has not.  He is going to do a new thing in our county and we hope you will be a part of it in whatever way God leads you.  Again, the financial costs for this launch will be high, but the returns are eternal.  We ask that you will consider giving some regular amount to help support the launch and the sustaining of this new work.  If you feel God wants you to help in other ways please let us know.  We plan to be fully self-supporting in 3 years or less.  There will be monthly reports on how the money given is being used to expand God’s Kingdom. 

Thank you for your support and prayers.

Steve and Katrina Bentley

Even if you are not interested in the church itself, the content on his blog is worth the effort.

Please check out GCIC’s Blog.

- Maya Angelou

A feeling is the most powerful motivator known to man. The feelings that we arouse in others will directly affect how they react to us. If we create negative feelings, they will be repelled. Our objective however, is to attract people. We do this by making sure that every encounter leaves the other with positive feelings. There is a three-step process that will generate positive feelings in others. Everyone wants to be Accepted, Approved, and Appreciated.

Accept

Everyone has an in-born need to be accepted. The preponderance of gangs throughout the world is a direct result of this need. Many join gangs to find the acceptance that doesn’t exist elsewhere.

Acceptance means allowing someone to be who he or she is without rejection. We don’t have to agree with every aspect of a person’s life to accept them. Allow them into your life without conditions. Remember, we aren’t perfect either. All that is required is to find some common ground or at the least an agreement to disagree. The only person we can change is ourselves.

Giving the other person the right to be himself lets him relax when he is around us. By liking the other person as he/she is gives them the power to change. It is about the stuff they are made of not the things they do or don’t do.

Acceptance is like a shot of self-confidence that empowers us to become better.

Approve

Approval goes beyond acceptance in that we accept the other person with all their faults and shortcomings and still afford them our friendship, while concentrating on their positive points. Approval finds something in the other person that we can like.

All are hungry for approval. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just find something you like and let that person know it. A sincere compliment for a virtue that is not obvious will work wonders. Praise others for their “hidden” talents and they will glow!

Appreciate

Appreciate means to raise in value and is the opposite of depreciation, which means to lower in value.

We are NOT attracted to those who lower our value, but we are always looking for those who raise our value.

In each encounter, take a moment to consider how valuable that person is to you. Next find little ways to let that person know that you value them. Remember, in each interaction, it’s not about you. People are the most important and valuable things on earth.

Here are some tips:

1. Don’t keep people waiting.

2. Thank people.

3. Treat each person as someone special

All of us want to be treated as if we were kings or queens. We want to be acknowledged as one who is unique, one who has something positive and wonderful to the situation. Never deal with anyone as if they were just a part of a group. The world is populated with persons, not people.

Nature teaches us that we can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. When we begin to put out the sweet nectar of accept, approve, appreciate, persons will flock to us.

Appreciate some one today. Send a greeting card to the person who came to mind as you were reading this blog.